You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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