The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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