i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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