if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
