Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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