your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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