absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize