So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
