I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Fuck appropriateness.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
