and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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