I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
