You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
