He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
