hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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