i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
