u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize