Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
