I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
