I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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