he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
