Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize