I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
