Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
