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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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