ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
