You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize