I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
