I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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