im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize