WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize