I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
