And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
