will power is for people who don't want to get laid
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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