I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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