bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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