Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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