Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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