piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
