Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
