we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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