just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
