Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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