"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
