Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
