Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
