Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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