Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Two words: blizzard sex
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
