That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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