so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
