the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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