fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
