This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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