See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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