the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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