I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
