can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
