I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we made out on top of his cat.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
