why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize