So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
