How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize