there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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