Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
