Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize