you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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