There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
