4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
