Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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