ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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