yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
