I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
