Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Holy shit dude........stairs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
